Wedding Etiquette?
Due May 17, 2009! asked:
Who buys the bridesmaid dresses?
Who buys the bridesmaid dresses?
Flower girl dress?
Groomsmen attire?
Mothers attire?
Fathers attire?
Is a rehearsal dinner expected? How does that work? After the rehearsal everyone goes out to dinner? Who should be invited? Who pays?
Parents of bride are poor losers. Parents of groom are well off and offer to pay for wedding. Should I let them? If they pay, then should the invitation be reversed (i.e. says they request the attendance…)?
Any other advice?
Create a video blog…instantly.
Weddings can be financed a number of ways. Find a good wedding planner book and it’ll show you a variety of options: where the groom pays most, bride pays most, split in half, etc.
Invitation wording is NOT dictated by who pays more. The bride’s family is always listed first.
Google “wedding advice” and you will find all sorts of helpful websites that offer good suggestions.
Each person buys their own clothes for the wedding.
If you have a rehearsal the evening before the ceremony, yes, a rehearsal dinner is expected. My cousin had no rehearsal, and therefore no rehearsal dinner. That was great. This is traditionally paid by the parents of the groom, but much more, the couple covers the whole shebang from rehearsal through honeymoon. Anyone involved in the wedding plus spouses or serious significant others should be involved, as well as any long distance relatives in for the wedding.
I think if someone has the means and is interested in offering you the gift of paying for the wedding, it would be a wonderful blessing. Calling the bride’s parents poor losers is in very poor taste, and maybe that is just the attitude that makes them not want to give their hard-earned money to the couple. I know I would never give my money to anyone who spoke of me like that-daughter or not.
Invitations: if one set of parents is mentioned, the other set is due the same consideration, regardless of who is paying.
The honor of your company is requested at the marriage of Jenny Smith, daughter of Robert and Kate Smith and Bill Bink, son of William and Thelma Bink. You don’t want to slight anyone over money–that’s rude.
1. Bridesmaids and groomsmen pay for their own, but keep it reasonable and if they cannot afford you should pay for them.
2. Parents pay for their own attire.
3. Rehearsal dinner is for anyone at the rehearsal, plus any out-of-town guests. Traditionally grooms parents hosted the event, but it may also be hosted by the bride & groom.
4. If parents of the groom offer to pay, thats very generous and they should be acknowledged as the hosts of the party on the invitation. Brides parents can be acknowledged with “daughter of Jack and Jane Smith”, but not as the hosts.
5. My advice would be to have the kind of wedding that you and your fiance can afford, without help from any parents. Then, if they want to help pay for a few things, thats great. But just be warned that if his parents pay for 100% of the wedding, you will be at their mercy. It didnt happen to me, but it happens on here all the time: the bride and groom lose control of what they want their wedding to be. Besides, if you are ready for marriage you should be ready to pay for the wedding, whether it is simple or extravagant.
As far as who pays, typically it’s the bride and groom these days. The Bride’s family is traditionally supposed to pay, with the Groom’s family paying for the rehearsal dinner… but these days it’s anything goes.
A rehearsal dinner is expected; the immediate family and wedding party are usually the ones there. You can book a restaurant for your party and meet there or rent a hall and have a catered dinner brought in.
On our invitations, since we paid for most of it ourselves, we just said “we would humbly like to invite you to witness our union, as two best friends become one” instead of mentioning either one of our families. No body noticed the difference.
Traditionally, this is how it goes:
Bridesmaids buy their own dresses.
The flower girl (or her parents usually ) buys her own dress.
Groomsmen rent their own tuxes.
Mothers buy their own dresses, Dads rent their own tuxes.
People usually have a rehearsal dinner the night before and the groom’s family pays for it. You would invite anyone in the wedding and any immediate family or guests from out-of-town.
If the groom’s family wants to pay for the wedding, sure let them. Yes, if they pay you should reverse the invitation. Maybe see if the bride’s parents want to pay for the rehearsal dinner so they don’t feel left out but if they can’t, you may want to just cover it yourself.
If you want to pay for the wedding party attire as well as the parents attire, that is totally up to you. My wedding party paid for their own things. I was also in two other weddings where I paid for my dresses. It is to your discretion.
Rehearsal dinner are nice because it gives everyone a chance to mingle and caters to the out of town guests that traveled in for the rehearsal. It can be as simple as a backyard barbecue or finger foods…or it can be as elaborate as you want.
Not sure on the invitation wording part… I never like to place money value on the order of names on an invite. I think that regardless of the monetary donations, both sides would be proud to announce the marriage of their children… it is not meant to tell everyone who paid more. Typically, the brides parents are mentioned first… but there are so many ways to word invitations now that I am sure there will be the perfect approach for your situation. My invite didn’t even put their names in it… we announced our own wedding since we did a ll the planning on our own. It said “We, n. and n., together with our parents….. It worked out well for us. Check out the internet for other options. Best wishes!
1. The bridemaids
2. The FG parents, but gracious brides are paying for this now.
3. The groomsmen
4. the mother
5. Father rents tux
RH? Yes, if you are having a wedding party and they have to buy/rent dresses and tuxes. yes, RH and a gift IS expected.
Let them POG pay,
Aditional advice? Yes. NEVER ever call your parents losers, Shame on you. Why not paying the wedding yourself as a responsible adult.
well being you said the gooms family offered to pay for it let them dont put presure when its not needed, But dont let his mom or dad think then now have controle over the wedding my mom is trying it with me and yes whos ever parents pay for it are the one whos names are on the invite out of respect. or you can just put both setts of parents names on the invite if that doesnt offed the payers of the wedding. good luck
From the best of my knowledge:
Bridesmaid, flowergirls, groomsmen, mothers, fathers all pay for their own attire.
Rehearsal dinner are generally expected, but they dont have to be formal. You could host it and have it catered at your venue, or have the reheardsal then go out to dinner or back to your place for dinner, etc. Usually it is paid for by whoever is paying for the wedding…A more casual dinner should invite whoever is in the wedding party and parents, and more formal would include grandparents, guests of honor, etc.
It’s fine to let them pay for the wedding if they are willing and you are comfortable. I believe the invites should still say both parents names, as long as the brides parents are contributing something even if it is just time, and the bride’ sfamily is always listed first.
Dont worry too much about following the rules, its good to keep them in mind but nowaday people improvise and guests understand that. Good luck!
Who buys the bridesmaid dresses? The bridesmaids. If the bride is really well off, she can purchase these for them.
Flower girl dress? The girl’s parents. If the bride is really well off, she can purchase these for her
Groomsmen attire? The groomsmen. If the groom is really well off, he can rent these for them.
Mothers attire? The mothers!
Fathers attire? The fathers!
Is a rehearsal dinner expected? How does that work? After the rehearsal everyone goes out to dinner? Who should be invited? Who pays? Yes it’s expected, but not required. Yes after the rehearsal you all go out to dinner. Toast-o-rama. All of the wedding party and anyone helping out with the ceremony. Parents of the bride and groom. Usually the grandparents. The officiant if you want to. Some people invite out of town guests, but I think that’s overkill. The groom’s parents usually host this, but really anyone can.
Parents of bride are poor losers. Parents of groom are well off and offer to pay for wedding. Should I let them? If they pay, then should the invitation be reversed (i.e. says they request the attendance…)? Yes!!! accept their help. Offer to pay for things yourself too. The invitations can be general
Together with their families
_______ and ______
request the pleasure of your company.
Any other advice? Do worry too much about who traditionally pays for what.
Let the grooms parents pay if they are willing. The invitation should still have brides parents first, but then have grooms parents. ie.
mr. & mrs. so and so
and
mr. & mrs. so and so (groom)
request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their children
bride
&
groom
(brides name comes first, so the brides parents come first)
Rehearsal dinner is expected, and bride and groom pay (and normally hand out gifts to the wedding party)
mother and father purchase their own attire usually.
obviously if you could afford it you would buy the wedding party’s attire, but most people now are purchasing their own if they are to be in a wedding.
I say if you can, pay for the flower girls dress! thats nice!
Bridesmaids buy their own dresses. The mother of the flower girl buys theirs. Mother and father buy their own. The mother’s dress should compliment the bridal party colors. The mother of the groom is generally supposed to pay for the rehearsal dinner. Out of town guests and the bridal party, plus all the parents attend. Let them pay (groom’s fam). That is your biggest expense. I would include both sets of parents on the invites. Trust me on this one. You don’t want to offend either party. I am in the similar situation. Only other advice I can give is to expect that things may not run as smoothly as planned. Be prepared and good luck!
here is wedding ediquette.. however, nothing is set in stone nowadays!
everyone pays for their own attire.. parents pay for their children.. a rehearsal dinner is expected.. yes after the rehearsal everyone goes out to dinner.. you invite the entire bridal party, their guests, your officiant.. both sets of parents.. both sets of grandparents.. and if it is the day before the wedding then any out of town guests that will be in town at that time.. the grooms parents pay for this..
as far as the grooms parents paying for the wedding, i would accept it only if you know they will not try to control it.. make sure that it is meant as a gift and not so they can tell you how they want the wedding to be.. and as for the invitation, i wouldnt put any parents’ names on the invitation in that case.. especially if your parents are contributing AT ALL.. just say “(bride’s name) and (groom’s name) together with their families invite you to share………….” however if you know it wont bother your family, then you can put his parent’s names on it… but like i said, nothing is set in stone anymore so use your own judgement!
In any wedding that I have been in or helped to plan
the bridesmaids bought their own dresses (pick a color and let them get dresses in that color then they can wear them again) same with the flower girls and the mothers dress
you can get a discount rental if you order the tuxes (suits together)
Rehearsal dinner is expected but not mandatory, you could make a simple layout of finger sandwiches fruit veggies and assorted soft drinks following the rehearsal. To a rehearsal dinner only the immediate family (ie parents grandparents) and wedding party should attend Traditionally the grooms parents pay for the rehearsal and the brides parents pay for the wedding, but society changes and you can do anything you want. My suggest that you go to the local deli (Wal-Mart) and by fried chicken and make the other platters yourself (its cheaper and still good food)
If the grooms parents pay then invitiation is not reversed. There are alternatives ex:
Please join bride name and groom name in the celebration of marriage and give the date location and time you can look at a invitiation website for ideas
This all Depends on your budget
Traditionally the bride’s parents are supposed to pay for the whole wedding.
Rehearsal is paid for by the Groom’s parents, traditionally the bridal party and any out of town friends and relatives and immediate family is invited to the rehearsal dinner but really it’s whoever you want to come. The more the merrier yanno?
If someone is offering to pay for the wedding LET THEM, just make sure you let them know how much you appreciate it and try to go out of your way and save money. Only spend money where it needs to be spent you know?
I would reverse the invitiation since it’s supposed to be whoever is paying for the wedding first since they are inviting.
Who buys the bridesmaid dresses? THE BRIDESMAIDS
Flower girl dress? THE BRIDE
Groomsmen attire? THE GROOM
Mothers attire? THE MOTHER
Fathers attire? THE FATHER
Is a rehearsal dinner expected? How does that work? After the rehearsal everyone goes out to dinner? Who should be invited? Who pays? YES, AFTER THE CHURCH REHEARSAL, THE GROOMS PARENTS ARE SUPPOSED TO HOST A DINNER, EITHER AT A RESTAURANT OR SOMEONE’S HOUSE. THE BRIDAL PARTY, READERS, PARENTS AND CLERGY ARE TO BE INVITED. (OH AND GUESTS FOR EACH PERSON INVITED…ALWAYS)
Parents of bride are poor losers. Parents of groom are well off and offer to pay for wedding. Should I let them? If they pay, then should the invitation be reversed (i.e. says they request the attendance…)? YES, LET THE GROOM’S PARENTS HELP YOU PAY, BUT TRY TO PITCH IN AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. IF THE GROOMS PARENTS ARE PAYING THE MAJORITY, THE INVITATION SHOULD READ SO.
Any other advice? ENJOY IT:) KEEP IT SIMPLE, BUT DON’T COMPROMISE YOUR DREAMS
Who buys the bridesmaid dresses? the girls
Flower girl dress? the mother
Groomsmen attire? the guys
Mothers attire? mother
Fathers attire? father
Is a rehearsal dinner expected? How does that work? After the rehearsal everyone goes out to dinner? Who should be invited? Who pays?
the guys parents pay you just have supper or whatever we had cook out
Parents of bride are poor losers. Parents of groom are well off and offer to pay for wedding. Should I let them? If they pay, then should the invitation be reversed (i.e. says they request the attendance…)? if you dont have the money have em pay or just have them pay bar tab or whatever
Any other advice?
do what you want its your day not anyone elses
Bridesmaids traditionally pay for their own dresses.
The parents of the flower girl/ring bearer usually pay for their attire.
Groomsmen traditionally pay for their own tuxes/attire.
The mother of the bride pays for her own dress, the mother of the groom pays for her own.
The father of the bride pays for his own tux, the father of the groom pays for his own.
A rehearsal dinner is generally expected. It is a time for everyone who came together for the wedding rehearsal to have a meal together. You can all go out to a local restauraunt, you can have a private catered event, or you can have a casual backyard bbq at someone’s home. It is traditionally payed for by the parents of the groom, however they are not OBLIGATED to host a rehearsal dinner.
Everyone in the wedding party should be invited to the rehearsal dinner, (bridesmaids, groomsmen, readers, the officiant, parents, etc) and then you can invite whoever else you chose, close friends/out of town guests, etc… everyone in addition to the wedding party though is just ‘extra’ and not required.
If the parents of the groom are offering to host the wedding, the bride and groom may decide to accept or decline. whichever they chose they should do so graciously. Keep in mind that whoever pays for the wedding sometimes wants a say in the planning. Discuss the level of involvement that the parents of the groom plan to have… decide if you are comfortable witih that.
When it comes to picking out the invitations, generally the individuals paying for the party. Why not let the parents of the groom choose the wording?
It could read
Together with their parents
Bride
and
Groom
Invite you…..
Or it could read
Mr. & Mrs. Brides Parents
and
Mr. & Mrs. Grooms Parents
Invite you to the marriage of their children
Bride
and
Groom
OR
Mr. & Mrs. Grooms Parents
Request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of
Bride
to their son
Groom
Here is what I did:
The bridesmaids paid for their dresses (I made sure they were on the low $ end) and I said, if you cannot pay for them I will. Same with groomsmen. They can rent tuxes at a pretty good price (at bridal fairs they often offer deals). I would guess the father and mother pay for their attire themselves, or they can wear something they already have.
I would allow the parents to help pay. My parents and my husbands parents split the cost, and then we paid for a little bit ourselves. It’s expensive out on your own (cars, rent, insurance) so this will help a lot if you don’t have to pay for your own wedding. Make sure to give the parents a very nice thank you gift.
Rehearsal dinner is expected. We invited everyone involved with the wedding (the wedding party, anyone singing/playing music, the grandparents, important guests from out of town, flower girl, candle lighters, etc.) It was fun.
Would the grooms parents be upset if you kept the invite as both parents requesting the attendance? Or, you could just say that you two, along with our parents, request your attendance.
Remember to have fun through all the planning!!
1. The Bridesmaids do
2. The mother of the Flower Girl
3. The groomsmen
4. The Mom
5. The Dad
6. It is expected, but only for the wedding party. Especially with destination weddings (which means EVERYONE would be from out of town, though you can make the rehearsal dinner ONLY for the wedding party). Who pays could be you or one of your parents or someone.
7. If they offer to pay for the wedding, lay down some ground rules… do they want a say in how it is planned, or is the money given with NO strings attached (like they say “its this way or we don’t pay”?).
If you can afford it with your budget, you can pay for the first five questions.